Bryan Safi is my new hero. Here's one reason why.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Hail Mary - There are kids here!
Dear pervy man trolling the university bus stop,
Your white shorts do not qualify as appropriate outerwear because they are:
1)Elastic
2)Thinner than the dishcloth at my mother's house.
Judging from the way you were so proudly standing and your smug expression, the fact that your entire erect penis was clearly discernible through said shorts, I assume, was well within your anticipation.
To that I say, put your junk away! NOBODY wants to tap that.
1)Elastic
2)Thinner than the dishcloth at my mother's house.
Judging from the way you were so proudly standing and your smug expression, the fact that your entire erect penis was clearly discernible through said shorts, I assume, was well within your anticipation.
To that I say, put your junk away! NOBODY wants to tap that.
Sincerely not yours,
Funny Bunny
Funny Bunny
The end of the world is nigh
Pretty busy at architorture school, here's something to tide you bebehs over.
Tired of your pubic hair? Soon I'll design a line of pubic wigs, they'll be shiny, they'll be colourful, they'll be long, short, straight or curly.
They'll sell like hot cakes, or blonde acrylic eyebrow weaves in dingy shops where Chingy is still considered relevant.
Guaranteed "celebrity status" fo shure, or your money back.
Tired of your pubic hair? Soon I'll design a line of pubic wigs, they'll be shiny, they'll be colourful, they'll be long, short, straight or curly.
They'll sell like hot cakes, or blonde acrylic eyebrow weaves in dingy shops where Chingy is still considered relevant.
Guaranteed "celebrity status" fo shure, or your money back.
Friday, May 29, 2009
She never listens
Hello?
You need to talk to your sister.
Oh, hi, mom.
(distant) YOU talk to him.
--- Phone passed to SissyBunny. Cue long, painful discussion about future prospects, degree choices and career options. Damage done, phone passed back to MummyBunny ---
So did you speak to her?
Um, yeah, I thought I just did.
What did she say? What did you say?
I think she needs to make sure she knows what she's getting into before going in. I don't think she'll enjoy International Business very much.
Exactly! When I told her that she won't get much money off it, she threw a fit!
She's driving me nuts!
Maybe you need to stop telling her no. Quit being so negative all the...
I'm not! I just don't think she's capable, that's all.
Maybe that's the problem. What happened to her civil services applica...
She never listens!
You need to talk to your sister.
Oh, hi, mom.
(distant) YOU talk to him.
--- Phone passed to SissyBunny. Cue long, painful discussion about future prospects, degree choices and career options. Damage done, phone passed back to MummyBunny ---
So did you speak to her?
Um, yeah, I thought I just did.
What did she say? What did you say?
I think she needs to make sure she knows what she's getting into before going in. I don't think she'll enjoy International Business very much.
Exactly! When I told her that she won't get much money off it, she threw a fit!
She's driving me nuts!
Maybe you need to stop telling her no. Quit being so negative all the...
I'm not! I just don't think she's capable, that's all.
Maybe that's the problem. What happened to her civil services applica...
She never listens!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
"Rape Me in My Thighs"
While we're still being culturally insensitive, here's another one, just to keep the ball rolling.
Cause I'm generous like that.
Cause I'm generous like that.
Labels:
Engrish,
I am a bitch,
Major FAIL,
Merry Melodies
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
The Chili Yin Chronicles
So just the other day the BF and I were on our way to dinner when we walked past our regular bakery. Naturally, we HAD to go inside to pick up some of their fantastic cheese puffs (Classy!).
Now usually, my eyes would be transfixed on the tasty selections offered, but today, a little more lethargic, they were flying across the space, judging everything and everybody in sight.
And there it was, the gem that was this poster.
Chilli Yin! I started giggling uncontrollably. Yes I am a bitch.
Who the hell names themselves Chilli, I thought to myself. I proceeded to tweet that exact question, which prompted such responses:
kiki_tina: SOMEONE WHO THINKS THEY ARE HOT!
MooMooCowMooMoo: Now now. Don't be nasty. If we can have Apple Ho and Cabbage Kuah, I'm sure Chilli Yin is a legit name.
Having let out ONE guffaw, the BF turned to me, "It's not Chilli, it's Chili. He's Chinese, it's probably more Yin Chi Li".
Suddenly it made a whole lot more sense. The four years that I'd spent living in Australia has compounded on my 'mental whiteness', which was already white enough to begin with. I mean, I've already started to unconsciously pronounce Chinese things the way white people do (the wrong way). Soon I'll be eating spring rolls with my fingers and having wine with my dim sim.
Seriously though. Cultural diversity is awesome, but a poster with caption that reads "A Fairy Party" in a large, swishy, sprinkly, pink font is PRICELESS. I bet you dem glittery gayz are going to be so disappointed when they find out that the fairy party is nothing more than a cake ad.
Now usually, my eyes would be transfixed on the tasty selections offered, but today, a little more lethargic, they were flying across the space, judging everything and everybody in sight.
And there it was, the gem that was this poster.
Chilli Yin! I started giggling uncontrollably. Yes I am a bitch.
Who the hell names themselves Chilli, I thought to myself. I proceeded to tweet that exact question, which prompted such responses:
kiki_tina: SOMEONE WHO THINKS THEY ARE HOT!
MooMooCowMooMoo: Now now. Don't be nasty. If we can have Apple Ho and Cabbage Kuah, I'm sure Chilli Yin is a legit name.
Having let out ONE guffaw, the BF turned to me, "It's not Chilli, it's Chili. He's Chinese, it's probably more Yin Chi Li".
Suddenly it made a whole lot more sense. The four years that I'd spent living in Australia has compounded on my 'mental whiteness', which was already white enough to begin with. I mean, I've already started to unconsciously pronounce Chinese things the way white people do (the wrong way). Soon I'll be eating spring rolls with my fingers and having wine with my dim sim.
Seriously though. Cultural diversity is awesome, but a poster with caption that reads "A Fairy Party" in a large, swishy, sprinkly, pink font is PRICELESS. I bet you dem glittery gayz are going to be so disappointed when they find out that the fairy party is nothing more than a cake ad.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
I am five
I want to see this. Part of me thinks it's going to be a big pile o' shit, but deep inside I'm all giggly and excited. Does that make me Disney's target demographic?
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